Finding Love in Grimsby

Until 2007 neighbouring cleethorpes hosted the world famous "Bags Ball" on a wednesday night. It has now ceased and it's venue The Wintergardens has now been demolished.
The aptly named Bags Ball was a place where often young inexperienced and shall we say somewhat inadequate young men went and got their end away with elderly women, again a case of the daft and the dammed ;)
It is no surpirize to those who have knowledge of Grimsby and Cleethorpes that the area is famous only for Fish and the Bags Ball, I will resist the temptation to draw the obvious comparrison.
So with the bags ball a thing of the past, how do the men of Grimsby find Love, The answer is simple they frequent one of the towns various massage parlours, the most famous being Nicoles





With the demise of the bags ball many older "ladies" found themselves starved of physical contact, Picured above is Doreen , who loved her wednesday nights at the Bags Ball, but instead of lying down and giving up, Doreen took the plunge and hired a room at Nicoles
"It's wonderful" she told us, "I can look out of the window and see my grandkids playing in the school yard, the young men round here like an older woman, and I'm very strict with um darl' because thats what they like. We got a dungeon downstairs at Nicoles now and thats great fun, and I will even say its even more fun than the bags ball as that was only once a week"

Elaine (above) also has a room at Nicoles "I'm looking for Mr Right" she told us "Grimsby men are not very romatic are they?" she added " I'm certain to find the right man, all the real gentlemen in Grimsby come to us"

Shirley however "works from home" she describes her self as classy and at the upper end of the market, Shirley also misses the bags ball but feels she has now find her true direction. Shirley has some remarkable talents with ping pong balls and ballons, but she will not give details unless she's got the dosh first.

We met some very strange ladies on our quest to find out about finding love in Grimsby. I think we should round off with a word of advice

If the lady of your choice has fingers that smell of fish, and she DOESN'T work on the fish dock, then she either loves herself a little too much or she has a personal health problem

WARNING

Grimsby girls can give the term "fish fingers " a whole new meaning !!!

Social Life in Grimsby..Grimsby Job Centre Plus in Association with Cue World

Residents of Grimsby have been delighted by the relocation of a much loved social highspot called "cue world".
At cue world you can while away your hours playing pool with your mates you can get off your face on the lash and best of all you can take the kids!!!
Cue world used to be located at Wellowgate but now as you can see from the picture above it has now been relocated above the Job Centre. I apologise for the quality of the above picture, but you can get the general idea. The Job Centre is the building with the big green sign, and Cue World ( The Chavs Nirvana ) is seen in the top right hand corner
I went there today and spoke to some of the regulars, some of whom did not want to be named

Kyle however was happy to chat, he is pictured above giving a deleriously passionate account of his joy at the relocation of Cue World
"it's F*cking random" he enthused, "I just can't believe it, it's f*ing yeah man, just looka t where we is, I can come here 2ish isnit and if its signing day I can do that and and then f*cking get upstairs and play some pool. then look where we f*ing is yeah. right across the road there is the magistrates and I can go there like init and pay my fines or f**cking appear like if I'm on like other days all I gotta do is cross the road here yeah cos the f*cking cop shop is right there next to the f*cking magistatres like and I can answer my f*cking bail and that
It's so f*cking yeah man so convenient
random f*cking random

Welcome To Grimsby (home of the daft and the dammed)

We moved to Grimsby from "down South" nearly 10 years ago the locals have proved to be a source of amusement and horror. Grimsby is a town that is just about at the end of the railway track, which means that you don't pass through it to get to anywhere else. Until recently the population has been predominantly local (born & bred) meaning that outsiders are treated with suspicion and often contempt
A friend of mine a local GP, who had come to work here as an outsider once mused thoughtfully how Grimsby had once been surrounded by marsh lands, I asked him if maybe thats why the locals seemed so insular having once had the marshes to keep strangers out, he sighed long and hard, "no mate he said, those marshes were natures way of keeping these buggars in", although I laughed, I had to agree his sentiment.
Not long ago the good folk of Grimsby were obssessed with Asylum seekers, these poor souls who arrived on our shores seeking saftey were the scapegoats for all the crime and all ills that befell this town. Currently it's the "Polish workers", I am unsure if the problem is that these people are Polish, or its the fact that they "work"

PC is a long time-a-coming to Grimsby racist comments are common place, the small corner shops are known as the Paki-shops. Recently I was unfortunate enough to be admitted to hospital. Late at night another patient, an elderly woman who was hard of hearing was being attended by a senior nurse.
The conversation went as follows
Nurse; "which Dr Saw you Mary?"
Patient "what was that you said"
Nurse " Mary, who was the Dr you saw?"
Patient " I don't know"
Nurse " Was it one of the darkies?"
Patient "what ? "
Nurse " Mary..the Dr ..was it one of the wogs?"
Patient "yes it was, but I don't know which one"
Nurse "well no Mary, they all look the same darl don't they?"

To my shame I laughed, but Ohhhhh dear, in most places that conversation would be taboo, but not in Grimsby.

We set up this blog so that others might enjoy a little bit a a laugh, there is no malice intended.
I entitled this post Welcome to Grimsby, Home of the daft and the dammed...I hope I am neither daft OR dammed..just a passive observer
I hope my observations raise a smile here and there
please share yours with us and we will add them
best wishes
Joe Bloggs and Fish Dock Fanny
email us on
fish_dock_fanny@yahoo.co.uk

This picture taken from the road of an ad from Grimsby College ...well what can I say :)